Hey.....So yes, I'm still alive.
Yesterday I had a bone scan and a complete CT scan. I spent the better part of my day in machines. Most of the technologists know my name now. I'm like the person that hasn't died yet. They're happy to see me.
Every morning when I wake I say three things before I even open my eyes fully:
Cancer does not live in this body
Thank you for another day
Allow me to be a force for good
So far.....things seem to be going well.
My tests, as of May 15 show no evidence of metastatic disease. My oncologist is happy. He did say though... I need to lose 40 lbs.
The hormone pills, the menopause, the lack of motivation, the depression.......it's made me a fatty.
Now I have a directive to lose weight to save my life because my liver needs love.....and I can assure you it's not because of extra mayo. It was booze. Meat, and yeah......you know I love mayo so much.
I need to become veg. with fish. FUCK. I have to go back to juicing.
UGH.......I'm happy I'm alive but ah, whatever, I'll eat the salad.
Today I took Axie for a walk....we looked at all the flowers and the trees, and we stopped to smell - for him.....other dogs, for me...lilacs and cherry blossoms.
I walked for a while with him, each of us sniffing. I realized just at that moment that summer isn't actually my favourite season. Spring is so wonderful. We endure through the rotting in the fall....brilliant as the colours may be, everything is dying.
Spring.....it's so fragrant, it's so pretty and delicate. It's just so lovely.
My friends, I was diagnosed with Stage 3C invasive cancer in 2019. I was told I'd be lucky to live 2 years.....
Today I talked to my oncologist and he said he's not worried about cancer. He now wants me to focus on my years ahead.
I was stunned......." years ahead"...... ???? I have a life ahead.
I'm afraid to hope...I'm afraid to believe it because cancer hit me so hard.
So for tonight......I sit.
I'm thinking of all those spring flowers, the lilac scent in the air. The tulips and the daffodils.
They too had a period of darkness before they bloomed again......
I think, perhaps....I may bloom soon.
Hi Sara - so happy to hear from you again — hope Springs in your Heart ❤️ and your days ahead are filled with renewed Hope! Spring is eternal so they say — so keep that in your HEART and go UP from there! Are your asparagus peeping out of the ground yet? I don’t have any veggies but my tulips were out like gangbusters. - I was amazed to see them already and they were about 12 inches tall when they started to bloom so quickly - how joyous to see bright colours. Oh yeah, my rhubarb in the back yard is growing like crazy and maybe I can pick some and make a cake before Nancy goes…