I was walking today, and my arms were swinging. I felt all the blood pooling in my fingers. It's a strange sensation, walking, moving, feeling alive. Not to say it's strange, like it doesn't happen to everyone, every day; but just that for me, feeling alive is in the small things now. It's been a while since I've made an entry. The primary focus of this blog when I first started was to help me navigate the trauma of being diagnosed with Stage 3C (you're lucky if you live 2

I haven't written in so long. Truth... I just had so much to say but yet nothing at all that I felt was relevant. It's like I want to say...

Ahhh. It's true. This January 6th marked the 4th anniversary of the day I started chemotherapy. It ranks, still, as the most...

Hey.....So yes, I'm still alive. Yesterday I had a bone scan and a complete CT scan. I spent the better part of my day in machines. ...

I don't think "New Year's" is a big deal. It's arbitrary. Someone, somewhere said..."let's stop here" and begin again. Total shit ....

I was diagnosed 3 years ago. Stage IIIC Invasive locally advanced ductal carcinoma with Micro and Metastatic features, Vascular Invasion...

Yesterday was my 6 month CT scan. This scan checks for metastatic cancer in other organs.... lungs, liver, pancreas,...

Ah...did you forget about me? Cancer case solved! She's still alive so all must be well? Not so much...they told me 5 years...so stay...

When I was a child at the beach, I would lay on my back in the water and look up at the sky. My ears were submerged. I heard muffled...

Like not mean....as in bad, but isn't it? What do we do in the meantime? How did that ever become an expression? Really. Uh ok. In the...

As you may have read, we lost our Finnie a week ago. We knew the day was coming but I thought I was more prepared than I was. To watch...

I haven't written for a few reasons. The winter to spring transition is always hard on me. I feel heavy, I feel unmotivated and I feel...

My CT scan is April 23. I will find out then if the mass in my lung has grown. That's pretty much it. If it has, it's most likely...

This is the second time I've started this blog. I had a bunch of pictures all set up and I accidentally hit some fucking key and it all...

I rang in the New Year binge eating my Aunt's baking and Italian breadsticks dipped in coffee. I was surrounded by some of my family. ...

My mother has always leaned towards experiences instead of gifts. My children have come to expect from BAP (their name for her) a ticket...

Yes. That's all my hair. I didn't quite go "Brittney" but I did cut it all off. Why? Because it's a pain in the ass. And....I'm sick of...

Good news! Arm still broken; however, not needing surgery. Clearly I've mastered the art of sitting in a chair. Shit still hurts. I...

Monday Oct 18, my shift for work started around 3:30. I decided, as it was a brilliantly beautiful and lovely fall day that I would ride...