#48 The Routine.

Thursday I drove to Toronto for my first Vitamin C IV treatment. I'm now in the antioxidant phase of my treatment. With chemotherapy, I wasn't able to take any antioxidants and very few supplements because they would possibly make the chemo less effective. For the next three weeks I'll be driving to Toronto to the Marsden Center for Naturopathic treatment and IVs.

I'm also taking a whole lot of supplements and am now fasting each day until noon. I have such a schedule that I've had to post it on the cupboard and check it almost every hour to make sure I'm not missing something.

I start my day with Modified Citrus pectin and L-Glutamine. The MCP has been shown to reduce the incidence of metastatic spread and the L-Glutamine works to rebuild my gut and nervous tissue. I then usually have a morning soak in Epsom salts. After a night of laying still my bones still ache a little and I've got time for a soak so why not.

After this I take my Vitamin D, my custom made detox tincture from the herbalist, a water with lemon and I make myself a veggie juice in the Omega. Usually in my juice I have kale, celery, beets, parsley, lemon, carrots, broccoli, pineplle and a little ginger. I save this for after my workout.

Then I have 1000mg of Vitamin C, a detox supplement with Oregon grape, milk thistle, globe artichoke a few other detoxing herbs. I also take some silicon to help regrow my hair and nails after the beating they took from chemo.

Around 10:30 or so I'll go outside and do my backyard HIIT workout. I set up 8 little stations with one exercise for a body part at each station. I do the exercise for 40 seconds and then I rest for 20 seconds and move on to the next one. I do this for the 8 exercises 3 times each. It's enough, by the end I'm pretty tired and then I bounce a little on the trampoline to stimulate my lymphatic system and stretch.

I go in the house and have my juice and a genestein (a phytoestrogen) that works to sit in the estrogen receptors on cells in place of the bad estrogen that feeds my cancer. I take and "Estromatrix" with DIM, I3C and sulphoraphane - these ingredients work to regulate estrogen as well. I also take a CoEnzyme Q10 which is a powerful antioxidant.

Around this time I'll also start thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner and I'll help the kids with their homework. Which is a job I honestly don't like. I love doing things with my kids, and I do lots of stuff with them but I don't like doing homework. I find it so frustrating trying to explain things and my brain since chemo doesn't work the same way I get frustrated even more easily trying to find the words to explain....so this part of the day is not my favourite. Jason is working from home too so he's at the table trying to do his job and all of us there is so much. I don't know how teachers do it. Honestly. I could never.

Ater this I kick the kids outside for "recess" and start thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner and get my lunch ready. I usually have an avocado, some roasted red pepper, a few nice Italian olives and some arugula with balsamic and olive oil and an organic rice cake. With my lunch I take some more supplements....some of my herbal tincture for detox, Vitamins A, C, E, Selenium and Zinc which are immune boosters, 2 liposomal curcumin - this reduces inflammation and has cancer fighting properties and another detox supplement.

Around about now I'll do some chores and prep for dinner and set the table. At 4pm I take more Modified Citrus Pectin and L-Glutamine and I get dinner ready.

Before dinner I take some more of the herbal detox tincture. You can see what I mean when I say I had to write it all down. It's a lot. But so was chemo. I only have 3 weeks to try to repair my system before I undergo a major amputation and removal of part of my immune system and start hormone therapy.

For dinner lately I've been making elaborate meals, I made home made pasta, a thanksgiving dinner, nice oven roasted fish dishes, curries...so many ingredients.

I set the table so nicely, put out candles and take my time. We have eaten every meal at the table and chat and enjoy our food. The kids love it. I do too.

During dinner I take some chromium and berberine to modulate blood sugar levels, some more curcumin, more Vitamin C and some more Vitamin A,C,E Selenium and Zinc. I don't drink alcohol or eat any dairy, but lately I've had a few grains, some rice a little bit of flour and some potato. I've been enjoying food.

Before I got cancer I was always thinking about what I was eating, worried about pesticides, vitamins, carbs, calories, the right fats, lectins and balancing my plate. I know there were few meals I really just enjoyed guilt free. If I could go back I would've just decided what I was eating and enjoyed it and left it all there. I wonder if that energy contributed to the development of cancer....I'll never know.

In the evenings, the kids entertain themselves with lego and time on their phones chatting with their friends and then they get ready for bed. I tuck them in and come downstairs and Jason and I might have a little popcorn, or some berries and dark chocolate. The other day I made an apple pie and some cinnamon buns. That was a real treat.

Before bed I take another Detox supplement, some magnesium, some more silicon and 20mg of melatonin. It's usually around 9:30 that I feel a little anxious and sometimes I need to take a lorazepam....if I can help it I don't but most nights I do. I worry at night about the future, I think about my sleeping babies about my surgery and I worry about the tumor in my breast that still feels very much there. There's nothing I can do about it for now but take supplements and exercise and try to relax .

At bedtime I have a custom made tincture and I take that and I'm usually asleep within 30 minutes. I sleep well for a few hours and then I wake up periodically with hot flashes and night sweats. It's from the chemo I hear but I'm told to get used to it for when I start hormone therapy.

The hormone treatment will essentially put me into menopause, which is not something I really want to think about. Losing my breasts was something I wasn't ready for, but I accept is part of getting rid of the cancer and so I've come to accept it. For some reason I'm having a really hard time so far accepting that I'm going to be menopausal. I read so many horror stories about mood swings, lack of sex drive, weight gain, hair changes and bone loss. I need to find some stories about women who did OK on hormone therapy.

There are so many things I don't yet know how I'm going to handle and night time is when I tend to think of them and wonder. Truth is I won't know until I get there and worrying isn't helpful. So at nighttime I try to be grateful for another day with my kids and Jason and that I'm able to access the treatments I can, that I have a warm bed and am safe and loved.

My routine is reassuring and I know that I'm doing all I can. I have a garden now and my little plants don't worry about if they'll grow or how the next day will be... they just get on with it and bloom where they are planted.