After radiation finishes, for conventional treatments they give you an appointment to see your Oncologist two or three months later and send you home. That's it. If you have some symptoms you're supposed to call the triage line at the cancer centre and your doctor will get back to you. It likely won't be the same day.
Once you've had the chemo, surgery, radiation and hormone therapy they just want to see you if you feel unwell. My next checkup is September 17.
Luckily I am able to access Naturopaths, Herbalists and alternative care practitioners. People without $5000 a month for supplements, and consults and visits don't. It's not right.
My family doctor now is the one that I need to go back to if I have any requests for blood work. Start right from the bottom of the conventional medical chain again, then referrals, then tests and then more Dr's apts.
I have been having some left sided pain. I have an ultrasound booked for August 31. After Covid the ultrasound and diagnostic imaging is so backed up that's the earliest that I could get in. I called my dr for a full blood test workup this past week and got the results Friday. I have a naturopath (who is also a Dr) and an herbalist. Both of them responded to my results and discussed them with me. I am still waiting for a call back from my oncologists nurse and my family Dr has no time to speak with me until Thursday.
The results are OK, I have low white blood cells, possibly because of radiation, I have leukocytes in my urine, which is odd...and we're investigating, I have high urate which could be from keto or it could be something "else". Other markers like ferritin and copper and ceruloplasmin, are low which is good, as far as cancer is concerned. My liver markers are good, some odd kidney numbers but nothing super alarming. I know all of this because of my alternative care practitioners. My Doctors haven't even called me yet.
I had an ultrasound Friday, on my ovaries, to check them....two benign cysts. Again nothing too alarming but the Dr still hasn't called me back to discuss, that was what his nurse told me. I might be having my ovaries out. I haven't decided yet. The shot I take every month causes multiple side effects and it's expensive and after 5 years, I wont be able to take it anymore and it's not likely but it's possible I'll come back out of menopause.
It's a tough call. I don't want another surgery but I don't want to have to have 6 month ultrasounds to check these cysts and then also continue to worry about the shot every 28 days. I'll continue to consider my options and discuss them with my Drs, it seems like one thing after another.
I am happy about the results, and learning to reduce the anxiety I have after I have any type of scan or test. I'm going to be enduring them for the rest of my life so I should learn to manage my feelings around them. My Herbalist pointed out to me today that I'm doing everything I can, and that my body has been through the unimaginable in the past 6 months. I need to be gentle with myself and continue to treat myself well. Sleep well, ground myself and focus on the day I'm in. She's my favourite. I really like my integrative oncologist too but my herbalist is the most holistic, and has offered me a new way to look at my cancer and healing process. Nothing happens overnight.
There may be bad tests, there may be good tests but to take it all in stride and recognize that as long as I've trying to live positively, care for my body and reduce stress I am doing my best.
The anxiety comes and goes, but with each day that passes I am learning to truly accept that this is my life, it's the only one I've got. I write to my children in their books every night, I plan to live many years but I write to them regardless. I don't know the future but I'm getting a little more comfortable with not having a guarantee about it. Scanxiety, blood tests, lumps and bumps and aches, sure they worry me, but I am working hard to slow down and take a breath before I go down the rabbit hole.
I look forward to my camping trip coming up, I can't wait to spend time at Pancake Bay, relaxing with my family and appreciating life. I am a little more tired from the radiation treatments so I can't do quite as much as I might have years before on our camping trips but this year I'll have some more comfort and will make sure to take time to set my feet in the sand and have a nap.
My life since radiation stopped almost a week ago has been a strange mix of relief and fear and calm and a sense of nothing happening. I am trying to take time in my garden, to gradually increase my activity level, to read books not about cancer, to enjoy a glass of wine, a laugh and feeling like I have lots of life left.
At the end of the day when I go to bed. I am grateful for many things and I say thanks for them.
I am not grateful for cancer, but the lessons it's taught me have potentially made the difference between me going through my whole life not ever really appreciating how precious each day is. Maybe I would never have really appreciated how feeling good is a blessing or that when I wake up in the morning I've been given the gift of life again.
Without cancer I would never have paused to re-evaluate my life, to reorder my priorities and eating, drinking and thinking.
I continue to try different supplements and tonics, I'm disciplined and strict with my diet and protocols. I do it all...from CBD to Essiac to Noni Juice to ECGC. Green juice, MCT oil, tinctures, Mistletoe, antioxidants, pharmaceuticals, homeopathics and IVs. I have special blood tests to stay ahead of the game and I'll continue this as long as I can, but I know that it won't last forever. I'd literally need a second job to maintain it. I have been so fortunate that I've had access to these treatments, everyday I give thanks for that. There are so many people who don't have any access to any alternative treatments, I have been given so much.
So..cancer hasn't killed me, I'm working to kill it. While I work to make it unwelcome in my body I open up so much more space to appreciate all the wonderful things in life I may not have noticed before.
Life is short, even if you live to be 100 ---there's only one day you die and I bet on that day it doesn't feel like it's been 100 years. I refuse to spend my days worried when that day might be. So lately I've been working hard on just being in the day I'm in. Smiling more, breathing more deeply, expressing gratitude and accepting what comes.
The future is uncertain for all of us and fear is real when this is the case. The antidote to that fear is love, hope and positive thinking.
And wheatgrass. That's some powerful stuff.
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