You Can Ring My Bell....

Yesterday I went to the Chemo Suite at 8 am. I had taken by then 60mg of dexamethasone. To put this into perspective, this would be the equivalent of ingesting 300mg of prednisone in under 36 hours. I felt like a zombie/monster. Anyway, there was no wait for me because lately they want me in early because I end up having complications and am there all day.

I got into my chair....here I am with my bottles of water all lined up, my tv and my mask on just so. By now I had a setup. I was in that chair and ready to go.

So they start the infusion, first I get the IV benedryl, to help prevent the allergic reactions that I've been experiencing the past few times. I'd also have some more steroids, and pepcid, which is traditionally marketed for heartburn but this drug acts on some histamine receptors as well, which helps to reduce allergic reaction as well. After these are all in the nurse sits beside me and slowly administers the drip. As I did the other 3 times I had an allergic reaction despite these drugs. They had to stop the drip and give me more benedryl and more steroids and then start it over more slowly after calling my team of drs to decide if I would continue.

I had 45 minutes to recover and they would start it again. If I had a reaction. That was it for chemo, they would take me off and I'd be done. I wouldn't receive my last infusion. So we tried again.

I tolerated it this time but about halfway through I experienced what is called and extravasation. When the chemo leaks out from the catheter into the surrounding tissue and is quite a serious thing. Nurses swarmed and they pulled out my IV and began to cleanup what is basically a biohazard spill into my soft tissue on my arm. I was then given this little write up to help me understand.

So that was a little bonus. I have been monitoring my arm using this picture here as my guide.

You can see the bulge under the skin. The hope is that the reaction isn't too bad and I don't end up needing any plastic surgery or corrective care. Today it looks red but I don't think it'll be too much to worry about. It's sore but I'm chosing to be positive about it.

They restarted the chemo in my clean arm and away we went. I was in there until 5:00pm. I closed the chemo bar. And did I ever.

Here I am ringing the bell. CHEMO COMPLETE! Jason brought me those flowers and delivered 6 dozen treats to all the care staff and nurses at the chemo ward. It was a special moment. I couldn't actually believe I was done but.....

I did it!!!

To recap:

I have been self isolating since Jan 4.

16 weeks of chemotherapy. Each time I had a different reaction that was "statistically rare". Four rounds of AC (the red devil) chemo, during and after each infusion I was delirious and nauseous and weak. I couldn't eat for a solid week and recovered the following week for a cycle of 8 weeks.

My hair fell out, my intestinal lining disintegrated, my stomach was destroyed. I had diarrhea and nausea almost every day. I lost 15 pounds and my muscle melted away. I struggled to make it out of bed many days, and to walk my 30 minutes in snow and rain.

Four rounds of paclitaxel (taxol) chemo, during which my eyebrows and eyelashes fell out, my bones ached for days, I couldn't walk or bend. My esophagus eroded as did my duodenum. There were days I couldn't leave my bed. There were days I cried myself to sleep and wondered if I was dying.

16 weeks of chemo. The tumors in my lymph nodes appear to be shrinking. My breast tumor felt a little different today. I was able to sleep last night for 7 hours, medicated, but a sleep no less.

Today I went outside with my children and jumped on the trampoline after a little backyard workout with some resistance bands.

I made it through the chemo. I know the side effects from this round are still to come, but they're the last I will endure hopefully forever. I am now in repair mode. The cancer is still there but I'm on to the new phase of the battle.

I am so proud of myself for never losing sight of this day, the day when I can say chemo is behind me and I did my best and never quit. Now over the next 3 weeks my immune system will be slowly bringing itself back up to normal.

I will start my high dose Vit C next thursday and every 3-4 days after that until my surgery. I will start in on a natural protocol in preparation for my surgery and I will keep moving forward.

I always say, it's all we can do. But it really is. All we can do is keep moving forward. Taking new steps everyday, hoping they are in the right direction, holding the hands of those we love and rejoicing in the victories along the way.

Today I feel like I've been released from the impending doom of chemo. I have some time to try to repair some of the damage to my body and soul and keep moving forward.

It's a good day. We should all celebrate those, the are the ones that keep the bad ones from lasting forever.